when iodine meet with starch

one week le. the mark that idiot left still remained. gosh. better listen to yx & start rubbing hard. lucky mom haven noticed. =x

hAppY bdAy tO mEe

nice to noe tt some ppl rmb. thou only one 12midnight, but there was 10pm (yes, 2hr early), 1.30am & 1.52am ones. During the day, there were some too. Thanks to you all!! Was really shocked that some ppl remembered after all! Then i found out that i had wee chiew as promoter, telling ppl to wish me hAppY bdAy. hAhAz. Special thanks to chewy!

But somehow, the sms-es got lesser this year. I wonder why.
Then there are those i had thought they would rmb. Apparently they didnt.
Im really disappointed in them. What's with all those efforts i've put in for their bdays? Im not asking for a one-for-one offer here, but do they realise how much they've hurt me by forgetting mine? And i still had to put up a false front in front of them. Okay, two remembered somehow. But did they make an effort to communicate with the rest??
Im tired of being in charge when it's not at all my responsibility to start with.
I wasnt the one who initiated this, was i?? Where's that person now?? Away in some renowned school, avoiding our outings whenever possible.
Im tired of giving and giving and giving. Im drained. Already. Totally.
I feel like breaking away from them.

1st times...

wOw. sUpEr drAinEd today... was rushing here, running there... hAhAz.. 1st, hafta return date-due library books. haven finished them [sighz..] but i dun wanna get fined! so yup, hafta make it to GE branch before meetin mdm woon @ 1.30pm. So suay... when i was about to leave, i saw superstar's rebroadcast on chn u. the final with jy & wl. rmb charmaine said she recorded jy's tong hua. so i wanna do e same too. in e end, got jun yang's voice, then hatta RUSH LIKE MAD loh. =p

1st time went to inter-school song-writing comp finals
Went there by cab with Mdm woon & her hubby. So awkard! But upon arrival, i realised how much i missed council. Yes, the ushers made me feel that! hAhAz... believe it or not, i actually like being an usher. Well, im a v social person after all~~
Not much impression about that competition actually. Guess the songs didnt really catch my attention. I realised that these kinda comp also quite cheat ppl one loh. They chose those songs very "story-like". Dun reali noe how to say, but one's song have to be sorta telling a story, rather blandly. Ay, nvm lah. One thing i v "bu fu qi" is that they said in the criteria that music has to be played live. RUBBISH loh. All the 编曲 are computerised de... wad de lor... ay, but hafta admire their talents in able to handle such technology. Sadly, i cant! =(
-must go learn song-writing someday. yes, that's my aim-
I found out that teachers are naturally biased. There was lws [that music teacher] doing a standing ovation for his students when they came out as performing item. Please loh, it wasnt even entertaining! And im not tt kind to go along with his clapping-along-with-the-rhythm. Moreover, i hate it when others start clapping during a song. It's damn irritating for the singer one loh. Cos obviously not everyone's clappings gonna be synchronised. Then there was wls [that chinese teacher]. Feel that her 得失心 & desire to win are quite strong. With NJ teams winning the Gold awards for best 编曲, 作词 & 作曲 out of the 4 categories, she was literally beaming from left to right, up to down. I dont blame her for being happy. But i could sense she's taking it very hard. And we were to lose (choi!), she sure very very very very disappointed one. Ay... y lydat??

1st time went to natsu matsuri
yep. so after the finals, had to rush all the way from SA [harbourfront, mind you. they haven moved, apparently] to Japanese School [Mind you again. It's at tenah merah] But quite fun lah. Thanx to jw for asking me along. Ha, lucky we went late. The main course was sold out. So the coupon originally at $10 became $6. :D If we were a few behind, we could have got in without the need to buy coupon! eh... but in order to have fun in there, it's still best to get a couple of coupons lah. =p but didnt noe it's soooo popular... hAhAz... had to Q for about 30min to get in?? but okay lah. Not that unbearable... oOoh, the games were not bad. There was this Japanese yo-yo game. So sad lor, i didnt noe can pick up more than one yo-yo with each hook =( jw never tell me earlier!!! >.< still, thanx for giving me the extra red one lah. Hee... brought to sch hanging on my bag. Yea, was qt aa. Even mr lum noticed! hAhAz...

1st time kena pinched by a GUY
dun reali admit defeat but this time i surrender. thou i 不服输, how do i win over a gAy?
maybe i was a little overboard, but still i strongly believe that
no matter how mean the gal is, so long the guy take action back, he is no longer humane.
thanx ar, u-jinx oh, for the blue-blackish early bday present.
-u r no longer in my memory. who are you? i dunno -

to count down or not to count down??

HAPPY BDAY to Hasan, Yuka and Mr Tan!
hAhAz... nv had met three friends having bday on the same day. i had only known zixin cos ours are on the same day. heh. anw, think it's quite cool to know people with the same bday. Too bad they dunno each other. But wait, they are all NJCians (or "ex-", "current-" and "ex-ex-" respectively) leh... lolx

hmm, it seems so cool/sweet for people to remember your bday, even posted their wishes on their own blogs. haha.

I used to love bday. Until last year that is. My friends would have known me as the "counting-down Queen". But im not one this year. I wonder how many have noticed. Ever since wad happened last yr, i no longer could bring myself to look forward to birthday, at least not my own one.
the higher the anticipation, the higher the disappointment
Taking up the responsibility was a mistake.
Maybe i shouldnt haven taken up the duty sub-consciously. Being the organiser for every other members' bday somehow make the rest incapable of organising one outing for me. And i thought having bday on a sunday (last year) is good. No it wasnt. At least not for me.
Letting myself sink into fantasy was a mistake.
Maybe i should have known better than to gloat over fictitious stuff. Rubbing the numb foot in front of you is just a pretence. The true self is only shown when the other party doesnt know your existance. I was hurt too deeply. One hour before i turn seventeen. wow. thank you so very much. for making me lost faith in birthday.

Three more days but i dun wanna look forward to it. How?

NDP 2005

Ay yer... could have spotted my gor in the parade. He could have the chance to talk to the president... why oh why, must he have a stomachache?? Oh wells. He came back with a sulky face. So better dun rub it in. After all, doubt he wanted it this way anyway. But still, air force contingent?! So smart-looking lah!! It's a good thing he has got the heights -- genes passed down in our family =D

Ooh... But the fireworks were nice!! Especially love the ones with a star encircled. [i loooovvveee *stars* =) ] I like those which explodes (do you use explode or diffuse or fissure??) into smaller fireworks which explodes again into somemore patterns. darn cool. *_*

Feel that the national day songs are getting from bad to worse. haha. i mean, they are getting so commercialised!! It started off with 'Home' if im not wrong. 'Home' is NICE! i mean, hey! do u realised it's the only national day song passed down to be sung every year?? Then there was 'Together' (Evelyn Tan & Dreamz FM [yeah!]), Tanya's 'Belong'. All quite nice. Stef's 1st one was quite nice also. But the 2nd one got really commercialised. It was worsed last year when we didnt even have one theme song!! Thou i was happy jj lin sang at the parade last year, but it wasnt a song of his own. [sigh...]

This year's song was horrible, at least in my opinion. Totally no catch. I wasnt interested at all. Kinda sad huh? Ken better buck up more & produce better songs next year and in the years to come. (provided he's still given the opportunity to)

that was out of guilt, eh?

Aint i smart?... i knew smth was wrong when she asked if we wanna go out tt day... After some thought, i concluded that it must be out of guilt. After all, who was the one who initiated an outing after ndc?? hmm, it always turned out like this, doesnt it? Since last year. the last straw that made me gave up. As it turned out, i was right! She already arranged another outing with her friends that day. No wonder she wanted to go out that day. So out of a sudden. Well, i must have been a kind soul to accept her invitation. ...
As for the other her, she had her own plan too. Enjoyed yet another outing with her CCA people.

一个只顾自己快乐
Always making funny faces
Always show off your own happiness
When would you ever try caring for others?

一个太注重外表
Always comparing others by looks
Always pushes ugly terms to others
When would you ever learn that there is such a thing called inner beauty?

一个像蜜蜂一样，到处撒花粉
Always sticking around the opposites
Always creating rumors for yourself
And yet, when it became truth, you choose to go back
When would you ever realize you need courage for your actions?

一个已有自己的朋友
一个茫然，无助，沮丧

Im not jealous. Really. I just feel cheated. I just feel inferior, as if im a 2nd-class good, a substitute. Im not.
I'd rather be an unwanted good, not good enough to grab any limelight than something which can always act as a good temporary substitute. So leave me alone if you have no intention to stay!

《（：你》

忘了 有多久没跟你聊过天
心里面 开始有些思念
距离都很遥远 见了面才算见面
不想再以 'see ya' 做结尾

记得 没多久以前我才发现
我们对彼此 感觉都很特别
什么都不必写 e表情代表一切
是否已经 感觉微微地触电

是你 就是你 我偷偷地爱上你
微笑中 带点一丝丝爱意
因为你 悄悄地 已经住进我心里
好想与你长相厮守在一起
鼓起勇气 send 则‘我爱你’
©满满™ 02/08/2005 *also posted on www.-manster-.blogspot.com

Wanted to write this cos i miss talking to a friend online. Then i realised it turned out to be another love-song-alike again -_-"" so decided to make the best out of it and changed it to be a song about online-relationship. Haha.. thanx to the addtional wan bao section which published an actress talking about her love life -- she talked about having an e- relationship before. So yup, got inspiration from there. Then add in abit of my own imagination... hAhAz... =pHmm... i like the tune of the song! But it sounds all too familiar... i like the title too!! (:
Ooh, found this website http://www.projectdiy.net/ which a group of trio showcase their creation. Kinda cool... especially since they got in finals for 新瑶'05. congrats! =)

NDC-cum-CM-cum-CSD 2005

The kids were soOo cute!!! *_* hAhAz... i've always like working amongst little children. Seem to be able to click with them quite well leh...
Anw, NJC had this Community Service Day in conjuction with National Day Celebration and Cultural Mapping thingy... So we had the elderly, the children and the handicapped over to join in the fun! =))

Our class got to be in-charge of children. yAy!! (i was really overjoyed when i heard it... hAhAz... reali like to work with kids!!) But the activities were not very nice... Already, 38th had nth much to plan (compared to us last year, they only had peanuts to prepare) and our station was Drawing Competition. Well, some of the kids can really draw, some (like me) cant. I would rather have a more interactive activity with them, seriously. And having 3 teens to one 5-year-old kid? hah... Plus, some group didnt even send representative to look after one child. Most people just slack around. Wad kinda cip is tt?!?!

Then there was the concert. The mei-mei sitting besides me said she liked it lah (cos i asked her if she enjoyed the performance) But still, i dont think the dance put up by w***ern dance was appropiate for the young and old. It was really b***hy (sorry to use that word). Gosh. Thou quite cool, i wasnt mesmerised.

Ooh, and when i asked the mei-mei to guess my age, she said SIX!! hAhAz... huuh... i only looked like a six-year-old in the eyes of a 5-year-old?? should i be glad or shoud i be disappointed?? haha... nvm. tong yan wu ji. =p

-wth lah- got thing to ask from you, you asked me to find it myself. I've searched the whole of your blog, of your public albums, i dun find that photo lor!! isit that hard for you to send me??! then when i was holding the kids' balloons, you want it. Please lah. Just enough for the kids lor. Dun act friendly with me when u wanna get something from me kkz! i dun accept this kinda fake, superficial friendship.