To Kill a Mockingbird

Did this book for english literature when i was in sec2. Loved it. ALOT. Could still remembered that i topped the essay for the level (i think so, cos i beat corrie & josephine wad... the 2 top lit students =p) for MYE 2001. Was proud of myself for that. But i think i did well because i truly enjoyed that book and was able to express myself and my opinion on how Scout has grown throughout the book.

Anyway, attended this screening and discussion at Geylang East Community Library just now. It was conducted by NUS Literacy Society, these two people called Teck Han (i think) & Elizabeth. Read about it from some brochure on Art Festival and stuff. Went for it cos it was held near my house and i really love that book. Not bad lah... Screened parts (the vcd allowed chapters of the movie to be selected!) the black-and-white movie. Watched it before when channel 5 broadcast it some time ago. Then discuss about discrimination and all that. Well, i have discussed those in my lit class last time, so wasnt v interesting to me now. haha. However, on top of the discrimination issue, they talked about the situation in the 1930s. I even got to find out about a true case similar to that in the plot -- The Scottsboro trials. Something about black being accused too. But it wasnt the lawyer that defended the black. The judge overruled the verdict by the jury and set the black man free. It was really a courageous thing to do then cos you have to be prepared to face anger by the white (majority) community. Really admire them for their bravery.

Oh, then Teck Han talked about why the movie was shot in black-and-white despite colour TV was already invented. It was to further add on to the topic of discrimination by the white ("more superior") on the blacks ("the slaves"). Also, the main actor as Atticus was dressed in pure white to stress on his righteous spirit. He was rather striking as the rest of the community was dressed more in the darker shades. Oh, Teck Han also mentioned about the 'birds' linkage for the story. The title was "To Kill a Mockingbird". Atticus' surname is Finch (a kind of bird which can change to adapt to the different environment they are in). There was Tom Robinson. INTERESTING! i've never think so deeply about all these before! Like he said, the story may be simple, using simple language; but you can actually discuss it on different levels.

Learnt quite alot through this session despite me not having voice anything.
I suddenly realised how far ago have i last got in touch with literature.
I miss reading good books. I miss analysing storylines. I miss taking literature (although i realli sux in it =p)

btw, think this website http://www.sparknotes.com/ provides rather good notes. Or at least there's a wide range of notes available. Still remember i found out about this site when i was searching for "The Crucible". A movie Mr Sim showed us.

CP SF

Had college publications seniors' farewell just now at Changi Chalet for the civil servants. Met jason and annabel at tampines mrt and we took 29 there. Along the way, we talked. I realised that they are actually very nice people to talk to! Cos i always have this feeling that i cant interact well with those "jiat kan tang" people... hAhAz... turned out that jason communicate with his mom in mandrain! Hmm, but im still kinda suspicious. Mainly due to his ang-moh slang even when he speaks chinese. Haha!

As it turned out, i was the only cp senior around. wOw. A farewell just for me! lolx.
Well, but i thought it's better this way anw. Those who didnt turn up are those whom i dun exactly mixed well with. Besides, Drama people are invited. So josephine's friend (vick lah. I like to call her by that cos that was how i first rmb her as. =p), Mel and Bert came. So at least it wasnt that bad. AND the people there are really nice. Even though i dun exactly know them (ohh, there was Katherine, Nuan ting's fren whom i dun rmb i've met her b4 =x oops!) i didnt feel left-out or octracised like i always do!

So yupz. Had an enjoyable time, more than i had expected it to be.
THANK YOU CP JUNIORS!!! =)

maybe all i needed was some encouragement & support...

You can write songs
Writing is one thing. Everyone can write. But not everyone can produce good songs. Some people just write and write but no1 appreciate their songs.
anw, i realised my songs are really block-ish. Hafta change style soon...

You are getting good grades
Good grades?? I wouldnt say so. Yea, passable. Maybe slightly better than average? But definitely not good. At least not as good as i used to be.

You are in a good class
Sure, it's a stream class. But was it my choice? No. I've never wanted to be in the best class. Actually it's alright, if you have classmates of right attitude and helpful to lend a hand to those struggling. But if you are as unlucky as me, then you would hate to be in a stream class.

You was in council
Yar. im grateful for that. But then again, i wasnt outstanding, was i?

i hope im not sounding greedy. cos im not. maybe i just have high expectation of myself. maybe im an over-achiever. maybe it's time for me to change my targets??

juz wondering how come my entries also lack of comments... i see others' blogs have sooo many comments, like within hours of update?? hmm... maybe no1's reading. maybe no1 cares...
maybe i just shouldnt care so much.

Ben & Jerry's Ice-cream.. yummy!

BROWNIE BATTER! You scored 81% SWEET, 62% CHUNKY, and 70% UNIQUE!

brownie batter ice cream with a rich brownie batter swirl Mmmm....you are a very sweet mix indeed! You are warm, loving, and caring to all those around you, but you're not boring in the least! You have a wild streak and a creative, unique streak, too. You are a great friend, an interesting person, and you know how to have fun without ending up crouching over a toilet bowl. Nice!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on SWEET You scored higher than 33% on CHUNKY You scored higher than 64% on UNIQUE

突然累了

gosh. i didnt wanna get off the bus to go to school today. Even had the thought to just sit all the way til the terminal then take back again... what is happening to me??

i feel like dying.

but no one is taking me seriously... maybe i was a clown for too long...

Stoopid SaLee Alliance

impreparedtolose.im.prepared.to.lose.i.m.p.r.e.p.a.r.e.d.t.o.l.o.s.e.
this was the chant i used when the teacher i/c was asking us to calm ourselves down （培养一下自己的情绪）just before the start of the 2nd half round of audition.

Seriously, i joined this competition (全国校际中文词曲创作比赛2005) for fun. I really know i wouldnt win (or at least get into the finals from the audition round) and so dont expect myself to win, and thus prepare myself to lose. I know what the outcome would be (results out later... they said... i wonder when's later?) even before i went for the audition round.. Just didnt wanna malu myself too much. Din noe it was an audience-seated studio lor... tot i would only embarrass myself in front of the judges... Anw, hope i wasnt the worst.

And i tot lws is a famous music producer... How come so many people dunno who the h*ll he is? HA! all the more shiok for me to hear that, after meeting him in person... u'll know why soon... so here goes...

OKiez! here's my complains about the audition round! *im not being sourgrape kkz... those were what realie happened...*

“违反以下任何条例者，主办单位有权取消违例者参赛资格”
1. live performance 现场伴奏
So it means you have to play your accompliment music LIVE with your LIVE singing yea? But what ever happened to that h* guy who sang TWO songs with music from a CD?!?! they still let him carry on with the competition lor... mr tiew said it might effect his score... but even if he doesnt get into the finals, i doubt it's cos of this recorded music. *read in-between this line*

2. Please wear your sch uniform for us to identify you
And so this is what was said in the confirmation email reply sent to us. Everyone did turn up in their respective school uniforms except those from THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE. But perhaps it was better for one of the gals yea? Better for her to let down her hair and wear jeans than wearing that super-short school skirt (alliteration! i din forget my lit =p) and that high black socks as if she was a japanese. -.- But still, it was UNFAIR. So what if the teachers know them? What about equality? Besides, even when we were wearing (alliteration again!) our school u, the teachers still dun identify us. So what's the point?
Another point to add, the teachers' attitude towards their own students were like soooooOOOO much better than the bo-chap, indifferent, cant-be-bothered-with-you attitude they carry towards us (the student NOT from THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE)
Equality is the value lack teaching in THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE

3. Same judges throughout whole competition?
To be fair, shouldnt the whole competition (ie the 1st & 2nd round audition) be judged by the same judges throughout? But what really happened? LWS came in after more than half of the 1st half round participants had finished performing their pieces. *he did hold on to a scoreboard so i suppose he's one of the judges??
[cos there were 25 songs altogether. So we were split up into 1st & 2nd halves]
After some thinking and observation throughout the whole audition, it's quite evident that he came mainly for the 2nd half of which 6 out of 9 teams are from THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE. The other 3 are NJC teams! =)

4. Photo-taking!
Okie, like i said previously, 2nd half only consist of 3 NJC teams. So we waited for everyone to finish to go back together (actually i wanna stay one, but no1 seem to be willing :/). Just then, the teacher i/c got up and requested that we try, if possible, to stay til the end so that they can take a group photo. Well, with that tone she used, it was hard to insist that we wanted to go (anw, i wanted to stay in e 1st place ;p) In the end, their camera NO BATT when it came to the group-photo taking session at the end of the audition -_-"" wad de lah... so unprepared! in the end hafta use this hc gal's camera... i wan the photo!!
Anw, that' s not my main displeasure in this point. THE THING IS, right after nj teams go up, the remaining teams are from THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE right? The assistant from tt music school started taking photos of the performing groups on stage. lws claims that they needa send in some photos to 报馆. A quick thinker can easily relate that it would means the photos the newspaper publisher would receive would only be participants of THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE performing... Oh please. And i thought it's called "inter-school" for a reason....

5. Technical problem. Me? No help. They? Nothing also still go help.
I submitted 2 song entries. So i had to sing two songs lah... The 1st song, i had asked beni to play for me one... but she had to leave early that day (cos we thought 12noon the audition start. Who knows it's the time to "try-out" the stage. The real thingy started at 2.30pm) Luckily teck kuan was there to sing for wei guang... althou i only know his name (wei guang), i asked teck kuan to help me ask him to play the guitar for me in place of beni... phew! But during the trying-out, this other nj guy helped me adjust my mic. Then when the real audition came, i had difficulty from adjusting the mic stand. I was stuck there for sooOO long without anyone's help lah! Then i think the judges became impatient when the male judge (think he's an employee of lws.sch.of.music) came out to help me.
BUT when THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE is performing, even when there was no technical problem, lws will PERSONALLY go up and shift this-and-that for them. Say what, better visual effect on the photos. Wad the h*ll lah! bullshit ar! [sorry to be so crude =p]

So as u can see, it was a SUPER BIASED competition. Din enjoy it as i thought i would. Was so excited over it at 1st. Cos when i took part in 2003 (sec4), i just sent in the demo. Of cos the reply was "Thank you. Please try again next time." due to my lousy standard. But this time round, im just so displeased with the operating system. Maybe zm was right. The organising school shouldnt take part, just to be fair.
What's more, i just heard that lws is the music teacher of THAT CERTAIN ORGANISING COLLEGE. No wonder. I wonder what position they get each year? I bet there is sure at least one team who made it to TOP 4 each year (cos only 4songs are chosen out of the 25songs to go into finals).

/useless gal... dunno how to write lyrics, dunno how to compose music, dunno how to sing, dunno how to play... /

WHO am i pissed with? Read the title of this entry.
HOW do i think of them? Read the initial of the title b.a.c.k.w.a.r.d.

updates?

你的头发很香
hAhAz... i was truly shocked to hear ppl telling me that loh... 1st it was ht... tot she was juz been nice... u noe, it was nice to hear ppl praising u.. esp since it hadnt happened for such a long time... then her fren oso said that to me again on another day... hAhAz.. should i feel honoured? to be honest, my mood really brightened up after i hear this... reminds me of the recent news report... that 97% of the singaporean women do not think they are beautiful. This is partly due to the fact that we only get praised once in every 65days... gosh!
so we should start being kind and use the chance to bring a smile across someone else whenever possible! (:

okiez... shall talk about CT results now?? =s
born to lead a "幸灾乐祸"命
only when others seem to be deproving then will i improved! lolx. at least that's the case for FM. This time round, like not many ppl did very well... Even those who scored 64 can make it to the "Roll of Honours" [isit called this?] Anw, yar.. quite happy with my fm thou SUPER IRRITATED with my maths c... no A! =(
budden again, my 6th sense quite accurate lor! when i finished my maths c on mon, i told ppl "may fail" [or rather, less seriously, confirm no A] then when i finished my fm on wed, i told ppl "im gonna do better for fm than mc" SO TRUE!! okiez, fine, fm only ONE MARK more than mc paper but still, one mark is still one more mark difference wad! so qt disappointed with myself for mc... esp since mc muz compete with ppl from other combi... wah... this time round the mc percentile sure v low! =(

OoOh... My physics is the position vector of A! hAhAz... if u know what im trying to say... hAhAz... but still qt sad... WHY I NV MAKE IT TO THE TOP 10VALUE-ADDED STUDENTS LIST?!?! ='( didnt improve enough loh... haiz.... thou qt dui with not making it to the list, im still happy with my results lah. hey, at lst phy was the subj i put in most efforts lor!

Chem leh, qt okiez lah... grade-wise, it's not great at all... But i feel that i dun even deserved to have passed with the amount of efforts i've put in & the attitude i've towards chem... die lah, chem s student dislike chem? -not logical- so yar, i ought to be grateful to have passed thou i feel like i dun pei to get this results (even thou it's still a very lan grade)
MUZ WORK HARDER!!! ay, but i hate food chem & organic chem leh... HOWiez?

And so, i missed my BABE.... hahaz... didnt even expect to have any vowel inside one loh... nvm... so now im "B CAB"?? sound like daddy! =D

well, if u dun understand what i've written above, nvm. =] cos it was meant to be a riddle like that... if u get it, u get it. If u dun, u dun... =p anw, it's my results wad. y u bother? lolx...

my 2 s subj = my 2 worst subj =(

new experience

never in my life have i met people who

desert you and your belonging without bothering to wait for another 5min,
only approach you when there is no one else to talk to and ignore you once someone else come,
do not appreciate what you have sacrifised and painfully gave up just for them...

oh wells. there's a 1st for everything i suppose...

i've taken them off

As from the 1st week of sch in term 3, i've stopped wearing my council & jpu badge. yea yea, i noe i noe.. i was supposed to have stopped wearing the council badge right after we stepped down, and the jpu badge should been long gone since the 'ao' ended last year. But, i just wanted a sense of belonging to them...

i was telling people that im gonna keep wearing my council badge. guess i didnt keep my promise eh? =p heyy... at least it means that i ve kan kai & fang kai already... i finally understood that sense of belonging is deep down in your heart, not at your neck, on your collar. it's probably just a way to show off... u noe, having so many badges along the collar. (okok, i admit i wanted to show off ;p )

Well, now i've thought it through already... So long i feel for 37th council & jpu'04, it's enough already. After all, it's my own business =D

ps 7th July is coming!!!! Our 365th day! 37th's 1st bday!!!
"the passion that burns in each of us" will continue to burn on!!!

Explanation

Sometimes, you may have come to my blog without seeing any update, but when you come back the next time, you would have noticed that there are new entries. Dun worry, it's not gui-zhe-yan (ghost covering your eyes). It's just me. =p
u c, sometimes, i only typed in what i wanted to write in point-form. Then i will try to slowly generate the entry from there. But most often than not, i couldnt finish it by the time i wanna go offline. So i'l save it as draft 1st till the next time i feel an urge to update. hAhAz... And sometimes, my bro rushed me for comp, so could only saved the point-form. Tt's y my entries' dates are usually long before the publishing date. hA!

Someone complained to me about my long entries... Hmmm, i supposed tt's my style? Sometimes when it comes to certain things, i like to elaborate, reflect and do stuff... Esp when im irritated by the issue, i just cant stop typing til i finished venting off my anger. So yar. But okiez, at least im taking her advice now and try to use less words... Hmm, so guai? =)
U may be thinking, "gosh, do i always exceed word limits for summary?". Just the other way around. I usually lack words to fill in my answer. haha... so hafta find things to add in... lolx

the next time u see another loooong entry, it's probably im p*ssed off again.