Road Run-cum-class-outing

heh... changed the timing of blogging abit so im reporting the stuff as it had happened. ><

This year's road run was less exciting than last year's. First of all, it's AROUND the school, not in Turf City. Secondly, everyone is to run COMPETITIVELY though there is still ONLY 50 collar pins up for grab for each level. But then again, it is still up to you whether or not you want to run lah. hAhAz...

Anyway, still, Im quite proud of myself this year actually. Last year I did the "Total Defence Trial" so didnt run. This year, initially Pradz cheated our feelings saying that Feedbackers wouldn have to run cos we will be time-keepers. In the end, the job was taken by the representative from each class. Nvm. Cos student helpers had to run the day before anyway. (though i know of a couple of helpers who didnt. *winks)

*off-topic... back to what i was saying...* This year, I had promised Yuxuan to walk with her (cos she doesnt like to run). But in the end, i feel like running & miraculously she ran with me! Even beat me to end off one place earlier than me. Lolz. But basically, I ran quite a bit this year. Nope, i didnt finish off as top 50 (so no collar pin) but I didnt walk as much as I would normally, i think. So it's a pretty good results. Im SO PROUD of myself. hAhAz. oh, besides that, i set off another of my own record -- most cups of milo drank @ an event. 7.5 cups! yyeesss, SEVEN & A HALF CUPS! heex. shh. this isnt supposed to be that kinda results which you go around saying one. Cos i think school only planned for 2 cups/pax?? But i like, no, LOVE milo mah! When i was running, i kept saying "I shall perserve. For the sake of my MILO van". Lolx. Yuxuan can be my witness.

Oh, after that, went out with 04S02 & 05S02 for a junior-senior-classes-outing. Pretty fun though I didnt play pool. But crapping with my juniors basically. Got to know Khant Khant & Ginny & Ling Yi better after chatting with them @ BK PS. But had to leave early cos of council usher duty @ year1s' parent seminar.

Hmm, i think that's all for road run-cum-class-outing. Cos the rest of the activities that happened after that wasnt what i would like to post under this happy entry.

~losing the power to influence

just finished watching "the apprentice". realised that it IS hard to be a leader, harder still to be a successful, respectable one.

I used to like being the leader. having the power to allocate jobs, stand on top during discussions. it wasnt just about the glory, it was more about having to be heard all the times. But now, i dun really dare to volunteer anymore. somehow, the extra seriousness added upon stresses me. i dun dare to try, i dare to admit. im quite timid i guess. but also, one of the things hindering me behind is the fact that i know not many people bother to listen to me nowadays. i figure they wouldnt be pleased to want me as their leader. correction: they dun even realise i do have the potential. i dun like to be looked down. on one hand, i really want to prove them wrong, showing them my true capability. on the other hand, im afraid to try. cos if i failed, it would be a BIG trouble. and even if i do try, what if no one care to follow, care to listen?? it is no longer the group of friends who trust me under my leadership, these are people who dun even have faith in me. how can i be sure im regarded by them? so i rather stay in the shadow. i wish im more daring. but im not.

In the pri sch, i used to be in the limelight. people looked up to me as im one smart kid. at least i was the smartest gal, always top 5 in class. then when i reached sec sch, even thou i came in 2nd, people thought about the gal who got 3rd as the smartest during higher chinese class when the teacher wanted the smartest person up. sigh. but that's ok cos i still have many other friends who believe in me. but now, i know im no longer that smart in class but that's not the point. i have long since disregard rankings. but i do wish people can have faith in me to be a leader. some of them might say i am already a leader by being a councillor. but is that enough? cos deep down, i know amongst my fellow council-mates, i haven been given a chance to shine, nor have i grab any. im just too afraid to try. cos the stake's higher now. i wonder when would i be daring enough to make the difference.

but anyway, i had joined council with a different purpose. i had just wanted to serve the school. right now, i may not exactly be in a very high postition, but at least in feedback unit, i can improve on the students' welfare & the school environment. i had joined council to contribute my small part in making the school a better place to be in, strengthening the sense of belonging in each & every NJCians.

well, until i am able to "dare to try", i shall not blame on others that they do not see my capability. it is after all, partially my fault i dun dare to try.

iN LuV wiTh this sOng...

Perfect
by Simple Plan

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think i'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
'Cuz it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm all right
and you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing last for ever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand

reflections

today i unintentionally hurt someone's feelings. im really sorry. i didnt meant to hurt your feelings. i just thought that we gonna have some fun & entertainment. i didnt know you are going to get really upset about it. im sorry. sorry. i really cant find any other word to say other than sorry...

i've learnt a lesson. always spare a thought for others. i should feel extra guilty cos everytime it's me who say i dont get enough care & concern, understandings & consideration. because i always feel this way, i should be able to understand other's feelings better. maybe i shall try to change. i had been tired from giving love. drained. but that was to a different group of people. from now on, i shall try my best to show love first. even if one group doesnt return me anything, i will feel down, yes. but not for long! i cant treat others the same 'cold treatment' if i haven even try. this is a promise. i shall not get disheartened just by the doings of one group. i can give them up. but there's still the rest of the world's population i can try making friends with. :)

open ur eyes b4 u open ur mouth

yucks! what can be more disgusting than seeing that your edible food is no longer safe for consumption??!

that day, i wanted to have a cup of cup noodle (thou you usually say "a bowl of noodles", it sounds funny if i were to say "a bowl of cup noodles" lolz) anw, just when i wanted to peel off the plastic wrapping around the still-sealed cup noodles, i noticed an ant crawling at the bottom of the cup. (it was visible cos it's e small red ant against the white base of the cup). being cruel, i crushed it to death. As i tried wiping it away (as i thought it was crawling on the plastic sheet), horrors of horrors (i mean to think that finding an ant crawling on your food -- though it's just the packaging-- is horrifying enough) it's INSIDE the cup. (ie in the air space between the plastic sheet and the base)

"nvm. one ant only. killed liao so no harm le" that was my thought.
sadly, that's NOT all!! i saw SOME MORE ANTS!! then i looked closer in details, MORE HORRORS!! i spot a hole where the ANTS ARE CRAWLING OUT!! man! it means the ants came from INSIDE the cup noodles!!! HOW I DARE TO EAT??! ugh!

even when im typing it now, i think back of the hole & the ants crawling out, i feel disgusted lor... cold down my spine. really!!
hai, now dont dare to eat cup noodles le leh... at least not f***p**** brand. nissin should still be quite RELIABLE.

so BEWARE! PLEASE do take note of the stuff you are placing into your mouth. Unless you dont mind tasting something really peculiar & different OR getting yourself sick with god-knows-what illness, LOOK before you EAT, my friend.

more thoughts from blogs

i've got a new habit! blog-surfing.. hAhAz... now it has become one of the "must-dos" when i come online. i frequent my friends' blogs, occasionally linking elsewhere to others (whom i think i know). it's quite fun sometimes & interesting most of the time. me, having only a plain, simple blog AND being an IT-idiot, am very facsinated by the eye-catching & unique layouts.

but blog-reading is also very enriching. i get to know a lot more people's thoughts when i do read their blogs. sometimes, their entry might just be updates. but there are couples of times when i see their inner thoughts, the thoughts not easily expressed, yet difficult to handle.

suddenly i feel a lot more mature. i see that other people also have their obstacles in life too. for some, they didnt let the obstruction bring them down. instead, they tore the obstacles down. but sometimes, they feel lost too. like no one cares. no one's there. i guess it's just human. individuals, therefore individualistic. you're real LUCKY if you are able to find someone by your side all the time. enduring through all the hardships with you, celebrating all the victories together. no matter what, you are together. how nice it would be. and im not just talking about bgr, close friends do that too. how sweet it would be to have some (or just even one) friends understanding your sentiments. how secure it would be...

it's great to have everyone as your friends, but it's even more wonderful if you can find close friends, even if you could only find one such person... life would be so much less a torture this way.