that was out of guilt, eh?

Aint i smart?... i knew smth was wrong when she asked if we wanna go out tt day... After some thought, i concluded that it must be out of guilt. After all, who was the one who initiated an outing after ndc?? hmm, it always turned out like this, doesnt it? Since last year. the last straw that made me gave up. As it turned out, i was right! She already arranged another outing with her friends that day. No wonder she wanted to go out that day. So out of a sudden. Well, i must have been a kind soul to accept her invitation. ...
As for the other her, she had her own plan too. Enjoyed yet another outing with her CCA people.

一个只顾自己快乐
Always making funny faces
Always show off your own happiness
When would you ever try caring for others?

一个太注重外表
Always comparing others by looks
Always pushes ugly terms to others
When would you ever learn that there is such a thing called inner beauty?

一个像蜜蜂一样，到处撒花粉
Always sticking around the opposites
Always creating rumors for yourself
And yet, when it became truth, you choose to go back
When would you ever realize you need courage for your actions?

一个已有自己的朋友
一个茫然，无助，沮丧

Im not jealous. Really. I just feel cheated. I just feel inferior, as if im a 2nd-class good, a substitute. Im not.
I'd rather be an unwanted good, not good enough to grab any limelight than something which can always act as a good temporary substitute. So leave me alone if you have no intention to stay!