is there a circle with opening for me?

So how was your holidays? If you managed to go out with newly found friends, good for you. Cos for me, i only got to go out with one of my cedar gang, jie mei, and the though-informal-but-ritual ignis jts.

I once heard from a senior, that in primary school, we are still young & immature; in jc, 2 years is too short a time; the only time you can truly find best of friends is during that 4 years in secondary school. I guess i'd agree now. JC friendships are just so fragile.
I admit i haven tried...again. I did asked once or twice. But i was stung too deeply the other time after prelims. I thought we had an agreement? I thought we had a discussion? I thought we settled upon going out straight after the last papers? But what happened in the end? Two went out on their own with each other. One called out on her other clique. One went out with *ahem* the opposite gender. One, went home. me.

Even for my CCAs, i dont have someone who can talk heart-to-heart or go out with. But, whenever we have meetings, i can always find someone to sit with to talk or joke. Everytime we have to work together, we can cooperate well and make a great team. It's just... Well, our interaction is only limited during meetings. They all seem to have set up their clique, whether from old gang or new company. I dont want to be an intruder. I've always believe that it's always easier for a circle to open up for one than one forcing open an enclosed circle. If they are happy amongst their own clique, why so bu zi dong and barge in?

Likewise for my old gangs, I still treasure them. But they seem to have found new lives & hopes outside our circle. Im happy for them, truly. Of course without them, without new life for myself, i do feel lonely. But what's there to do? 他们说，爱一个人就要懂得放弃他，让他得到幸福。i guess it's the same with friendship. If they are enjoying their current state, why hinder their happiness? 只要朋友开心，我不想刻意打扰。

So for now, i shall try hopping amongst circles, hoping to find one that has open ends. Till then, i shall hold on and cherish the rings I was once engulfed in.
-yun, m, pc, et ring
-lou 主人, beni 主人妹妹, kim papa, van mama ring
-姐妹团